My Mom

For the past month since I was raped I have been thinking about a lot of different things. There's a few things that's never far from my mind. The number one thing is what happened to me, but the other biggest thing is my mother. Some of you know that my mother is no longer alive, some of you may not. Either way I want to tell you about her and explain beyond the obvious why I miss her so much and why she's no longer with us.

My was born and raised in Alabama, USA. She was only 18 years old when I was born and when she married my father who was only 17. Still with her and my father being so young they still managed to raise me the right way in my humble opinion.

I miss my mom and I need her so much right now to understand and comfort me, but she's not here. My dad and others tell me that she is here with us, but I know it is just a statement used in an attempt to make me feel better. I have never told anyone this before, but there is times I talk to her just like she is here. I speak to her as if she is taking part in the conversation. I don't really hear her talk back to me, but I do imagine what her words would be. Ever since I was raped I have tried to have several conversations with her but I don't hear her because I don't know what she would be telling me. I have no idea what she would say to me, but I know it would make things not hurt so bad. If she was here she would wrap her arms around me to make me feel safe and tell me something, anything to make me feel better. 

It's not fair that my mom is no longer here. It's not fair that she had to leave me and my family. It's not fair that I was hurt so badly by an evil person and I don't even have my mom to lean on.