I found out something very frightening early this morning. The detective who is in charge of my case come by our home this morning because he wanted to suggest that dad and I file for a court order of protection. It turns out the guy who assaulted me and his half brother that I go to school with have been writing each other. Although the detective couldn't or wouldn't discuss the context of their letters, he was concerned enough to strongly suggest that we go to courthouse today.
We printed the paperwork off the internet and filled it out along with a statement from the detective. To make a long story short, the paperwork was then filed with the county clerks office. Because of the nature of this threat the judge temporarily issued a EPO (emergency protection order) that will be in place until after the actual hearing in 2 weeks. None of this means that the guy who cornered me in the hallway at school (half brother of the guy who raped me) is in any trouble, but it does mean that he and his parents will be notified verbally by police that he isn't allowed to contact me in anyway. The EPO does not stipulate a distance he must keep from me because the fact that we attend the same school would make it impossible.
As of Monday I won't be going to school anyway. Dad decided to homeschool me and I couldn't have talked him out of it if I tried. Home schooling isn't something that I want to do for the rest of my school career, but as of now I will be home schooled for the rest of the 10th grade. I hate this because dad doesn't have time to do this. I know he is doing this because he thinks it is best but I hate it. I feel like I have been such a imposition to dad.
I'm also freaking out wondering what the guy who assaulted me and the guy at school were talking about. How did everything get so messed up? A year and a half ago mom was still alive and pretty much everything in my life was perfect. Now my mom is dead from a car accident, and I don't feel safe because of all the crap that happened to me 10 weeks ago and the crap going on right now.
On a side note, I will be seeing my psychiatrist in 2 hrs and I am going to ask her if she can give me a weaker prescription for Ambien than I already have because a 10mg dose knocks me out so deeply that the alarm clock will not wake me up. Most people I talk to say that Ambien didn't affect them at all.
I want the impossible, I want to undo the last 18 months.
Hi Jaime, so sorry to hear that you have yet another reason to feel unsafe. I am so glad that you and your father followed up with the detective about what happened at school that day. Hopefully, this will be resolved soon.
ReplyDeleteI understand you feel like a burden to your father. Anytime I even confide in someone about what happened/my feelings (or if someone expresses concern for me), I immediately start to feel guilty that I have passed on my problems to someone else. I try to put myself in their position and realize that I wouldn't mind if I were in their shoes. Your father wants what's best for you, and keeping you as safe as possible right now is what is going to be best for him as well. Thinking of all of you during this difficult time.
I talked to my dad about all of this and I asked him to be honest with me. He said he would. I then asked him if I were an imposition. He replied and I quote,
ReplyDelete"Sweetie, everything in this life beyond selfishness is a form of imposition, but when an imposition brings about the greater good of a loved one, the imposition fades away leaving only the greater good."
I can't even begin to argue against his reasoning.
Thanks for your reply Melanie. I hope you got some sleep last night.
Well said :)
ReplyDeleteI wish you could have a re-do too. I will be praying for you....
ReplyDelete