Saturday, November 26, 2011

Comforting Darkness

Falling silently into the depths of tearful despair,
feeling so alone, broken, and hidden from joy.
My heart solemnly cries out a yearning plea,
but my voice so mute scampers away to darkness.

I hide within my pain safely surrounded in sorrow,
just a cowardly soul trembling, too afraid to escape.
Broken spirited I sadly rest upon bruised knees,
kept bound inside a never ending nightmare.

Held captive by my own sense of failing worth,
my resolve to heal is becoming withered and torn.
My shattered fingernails both bloodied and tired,
walls surrounding me are scratched, deeply stained.

Curling into a ball I face the solitude of the corner,
my back facing the a world that has been left behind.
I hear distant voices whispering a melody of peace,
but all I know is the comfort of this darkness.

-Jaime

11 comments:

  1. I understand the darkness and the sense of worthlessness, but you HAVE worth--please don't let go of that

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  2. I know this sounds cliche, but I think it's important to hear - what you are feeling is a normal response to an abnormal situation. This of course does not mean that your feelings of worthlessness are an accurate portrayal of who you are. You are so much more than what your mind and body are telling you right now. I am so proud of you for continuing to write about your feelings and experiences and for confronting the difficult process of healing head-on. You are an inspiration to us all. xxxx

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  3. Hi Jaime, if you haven't read the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, it's a REALLY good book about holding onto self-worth during intense trauma and its aftermath. I highly recommend this book. Last book recommendation - promise! I'm sure it's getting old. ;)

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  4. I'm just venting emotionally, not talking logically. Thanks for your support.

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  5. I'm here to inspire, I hope.

    It's just been a rough few days. I have really been missing mom, and we spent time with mom's twin sister Thursday. The similarities were heartbreaking. It's just everything together.

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  6. Dear, feel free to make all the book suggestions you want to make. Hey, I like to read. I just found this book as a free download too. Thanks for the suggestion.

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  7. Good, I'm glad it's available to download for free (and I'm glad my book suggestions haven't become annoying!) Let me know what you think if you read it.

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  8. Jaime, you are. You really, really are.

    I can't imagine how difficult that must have been to be around your mother's twin. You are in my thoughts and prayers. xxx

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  9. I will probably read it this week, it's only like a 100 pages so it shouldn't take long. PS, I can find almost any book online for free. I have connection, LOL

    You could never be annoying.

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  10. I knew she would be there so it wasn't a shock, but it just felt weird. It made me want to hug her and call her mom and tell her how much I love her. It was messed up. My dad looked at her and I could tell that his memory of mom rushed in on him too. He needed a hug, I could tell. I gave him one. Neither of us had to explain why, we knew.

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  11. I'm glad that you were able to be there for your father even though seeing your mother's twin was having an effect on you as well.

    It's wonderful that you guys are such sources of support for one another. Your relationship is an honest testament to the power and love of family.

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Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.
- Oscar Wilde quotes