This is one of the dreams that I have quite often, of course there are several versions of this dream but for the most part they are the same. Last Monday while in therapy I brought up the fact that I have been having bad dreams that often turn into ultra real nightmares. She wanted me to talk about them that day but I was feeling really uncomfortable talking about them plus I really needed to talk about the events that happened to me last Wednesday. However I do believe the topic of discussion this coming Monday will be about my dreams. Being that this dream is a description of the dream I had this morning it will likely be the specific one I talk about.
Begin Trigger Warning - Begin Dream
I open my eyes but all I see is darkness. I don't even see the slightest bit of ambient light. There are no shadows, sounds, or sense of anything in this room or place. There's a total lack of sensory input. I can't even tell if I'm standing, sitting, or lying down. There's no sense of gravity or even what's up or down. I can't feel my body, I have no discernible physical attributes and for all accounts I am simply consciousness.
After what seems to be an eternity I begin to feel a physical sensation. It's very vague at first but slowly I feel tingling that feels like it starts behind my eyes and then spreads throughout my body until it reaches my finger tips and toes. Unfortunately the tingling doesn't go away, instead it builds and hurts all over similar to the feeling of blood rushing back into an extremity. Much like the feeling of having a hand or arm that has fallen asleep but 10 times more intense. As this sensation begins to fade I hear scratching sounds that's similar to fingernails on a chalkboard. Long drawn out scratches that move from one location in this pitch black place to another. I hear it sporadically in front of me, behind me, above and below me. It's a sound that's all around but I can tell it's a distant sound. Soon the sound becomes louder and I can tell the source of this sound is moving closer.
I feel a huge sense of nervousness, a sense of an impending danger but I am unable to move. I'm frozen but it's not fear that hold me captive, it's something else. Slowly as the tingling in my extremities fades even more, I can feel myself being stretched in 3 direction at the same time. My hands are grasping one another but even if I released my grasp they wouldn't part. My wrists are hurting, they are burning, they feel like they are in a vise. My ankles feel much the same way but they aren't stuck together, they are pulled from one another.
The scratching sound keeps getting closer and it's soon replaced by a quiet growl and breathing sound. The growl doesn't sound human, nor does the breathing. It sounds predatory, it sounds like evilness stalking its prey. I hear very quiet foot steps slowly stalking me. I begin to feel my weight and can finally discern up from down. I'm lying on my back, the floor is cold and hard. I suddenly realize why I feel trapped, I am trapped. My hands are being held over my head and my wrists are being pushed against the floor.
I smell a stench similar to a dirty wet dog and feel something dripping on me. I don't know what it is or where it's dripping from. Then from above my face I feel a breath, a hot, damp breath that floods my face, nose, and eyes. This room begins to transition from pitch black to that of a late evening. A form, a dark shape begins to become visible overtop of me. I see a mouth with pointed teeth and eyes glowing a pulsating and very deep red. This beast is salivating and it's saliva is dripping on my face in anticipation of it's feast. I look around but there's nothing for this beast to feast on, there's no food, and suddenly I realize that I'm his feast.
The beast growls and howls as it moves over-top of me. I feel it's massive weight and I feel my body being torn into shreds. It's teeth drip with my blood and I can feel myself begin to die. My will to live is diminishing and my soul is evaporating. My own breaths become shallow and labored as this beast reaches into my mouth grasping my tongue, pulling it out just long enough to bite it off. I try to cry out for help but I'm choking on my own blood that's filling my mouth. I cough, spitting a red mix of blood an saliva into the face of the beast. The beast's claw is pointing at me, his claw moves closer to my face. It carves a line down the side of my face, splitting my skin like a scalpel. I try to scream for help but the only sound I make is a gurgling sound. This beast leans in an laps his tongue in and out of my mouth, savoring the taste of my blood. Then it uses the same claw it used to cut my face to tap on my forehead as if it was contemplating what to do next. It didn't have to think long. Its claw entered the corner of my left eye and pried out my eye. With the only eye I had left I seen the beast chew my severed eye and then swallow it. As I saw the same claw coming toward my other eye, I closed my eyelid and began to pray. I kept waiting to feel my other eye be ripped out but it doesn't happen.
The room once again goes silent. I wait, and wait, and wait for any sound, any movement but I hear nothing. I want to open my eye to see if the beast is still there but I'm too scared. I lay there nearly motionless for what seems like an hour. Finally I gain the courage to open my eye. I'm surrounded by 5 or 6 beasts. Each beast is uniquely different than the one next to them. The one that was feasting on me was also there and it must have been the leader. It growled and snarled as if it was telling the other beasts to remain still. Then it stepped backward into the shadows of the other beasts. With sudden viciousness all the other beast swarmed me. Piece by piece I felt myself being torn into chunks and then swallowed.
End Trigger Warning - End Dream
This is when I awake from my dream. I'm usually screaming and covered in sweat.
This is a reoccurring dream that I have had at least a dozen times in the past 9 weeks. I am going to try and talk about this face to face with my therapist this coming Monday. I don't know if I will be able to.
I want this dream to stop, and I would do nearly anything to stop it.
The tingling has returned
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