My life sucks, and that's about all I have to say.
I have deleted my blog about 7 times and brought it back up, I don't know why I keep doing that. I don't have the courage to make any meaningful posts anymore, nor do I have the courage to delete it for good. I don't even have the courage to keep going to therapy. I haven't been to therapy in 3 weeks. I just don't know why I even try... It is all pointless...
Hi Jaime,
ReplyDeleteI think that if this post is what you are feeling then it is a meaningful post. While I was reading your post, I thought of today's "Healing Tip of the Day" by Michele Rosenthal:
"Expect Progress To Come When You Least Expect It — Or: Don’t look for results, just do the work.
I worked and worked and worked to release the past — it didn’t happen as easily or quickly as I hoped and expected! And then one day things started happening. I think it’s sort of like working out: for a while your body’s just getting used to the new activity and then all of a sudden one day you notice you’re building muscle."
I think that you are likely making more progress than you realize. Sometimes things have to get really bad in order to get better. You'll know when you are ready to resume attending therapy and writing more in-depth posts.
Thinking of you and praying that things will start looking up soon. xx
I just feel like I am failing.
ReplyDeleteI know it feels like failing, but you're not failing at all. It's a long journey, but you will get back on your feet and be even stronger than before. On the days that really suck, I just keep trying to tell myself, "trust in the process, trust in the process, trust in the process..." I don't know if thinking, or even saying that aloud, will bring you any comfort, but it does for me. Thinking of you, and praying that things will start looking up soon. Glad that you're writing here a little - I've missed you as well!
ReplyDeleteyoure not failing jaime, youre healing <3
ReplyDeleteI second what TrippnThru said!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, the new look of your blog is GREAT! I bet it took a lot of work!
ReplyDeleteThanks, but I have been thinking about scraping this design. I just don't really like it. I am thinking about leaving the blogger system and going to a 100% manually built website that is completely dependent on code writing. I figure it might keep me busy for a month just converting everything over, but I am undecided.
ReplyDeleteJaime,
ReplyDeleteThis post saddens me, because I know you are stronger than this!!!! Do not let him win pretty girl!!!!! You need to start thinking about your future and what it holds in store for you. You a an amazing young woman who is an exceptional writer, a caring person, a friend....a daughter, a sister....you are a lot of things to a lot of people!!!
I have been worried about you Princess!!!
I am always here if you need a friend!
You are amazing and you are so much better than you give yourself credit for!!!
Love and Hugs!
T
Thanks T, I don't mean to sadden you or make you worry. I am trying to think about the future but I feel shacked to the past and I'm not sure if I will ever get free.
ReplyDelete