Today is the 2 year anniversary of my mom's death, I wrote this as a message to her.
A Mother's Love
She was so young, only seventeen
tears of pain streamed down her face.
Her breaths were deep and labored
while her flesh tore and bled.
A few years later the insidious two's
would drive most to patience end.
Her loving heart, ever so forgiving
chased me around to keep me safe.
First day of school we both cried
I felt left alone in a place I didn't know.
She felt helpless, seeing a prelude
to my growing age and independence.
A teen-hood crush, her shared wisdom
she was right, and she kept my heart safe.
Still I cried as she helped me pick up
the shattered pieces of my aching heart.
Mom's arms were always available to me
to cool the burn of all my life's boo boos.
Her eyes saw past my shell and into my soul
I could not hide, but with her I didn't need to.
For all of this and so much more, I love you mom. I miss you so much, and I ache to see you again so that I can feel my mother's love. I promise you mom, I will make you proud of the baby you gave birth to, the little girl you kept safe, and the woman your wisdom is making me into.
Your student, apprentice and child.
-Jaime
This is beautiful, Jaime. I did not know your mother, but I know that she must have been a really wonderful person to have raised such a courageous and caring daughter. Thinking and praying for you and your family. Have a nice time bowling! (((((JAIME)))))
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by to drop off some more of these...(((((JAIME)))))
ReplyDeleteWe did have fun bowling. We played 2 and 2/3 games each. We played our own games and we alternated bowing frames for mom. She beat all of us the second game. I'm sure she is gloating about that one. LOL
ReplyDeleteTY
ReplyDeleteNice! She totally is, lol. Glad that you guys had a nice time.
ReplyDeleteHi Jamie, I hope you don't mind me commenting on your blog. I have been reading your blog since December and you are pretty much the most courageous young woman I have ever read about. I have often thought about making comments but I am always unsure if it would be uncomfortable to survivors being that I am a guy and since I am not a survivor. So if me commenting on your blog or reading it make you feel uncomfortable, please don't hesitate to let me know; I will understand.
ReplyDeleteLife has handed you a shitty hand between what happened to your family because of your mom's far too early passing, and the stuff that happened to you last year. I have seen many people who were just as violated as you but no where near as violently and so many let life's bad hand control their lives for year, decades, and even an entire lifetime. I see something in you in the way you are trying to take charge of your healing journey, something that will be successful, and something that will not give up.
I also see a side of you who is terribly afraid of the memories, the pain it has caused you, and the fear of letting this beat you. You know what, it is okay to be afraid of the memories and the pain, it is also okay to be fearful that you will not defeat all of this. I have faith in you, faith that you will make your mom even more proud of you than you that I assure you she already is.
Losing a parent is a hard thing to deal with, and I imagine being as young as you were and still are, it is even harder. I know it isn't the easiest thing to believe but your mom is still with you, she's not there in physical form but she is with you in your heart. Do you know how I know that? You talk highly of your mom in such beautiful ways and I can tell that she had a HUGE influence on you. Although I didn't know her, I can tell she was brave, smart, and kind. I know she was because you are all those things. I can tell how smart and strong you are in the way your mom's wisdom comes through in your words. That is a result of good parenting and that you are a good natured person.
I know you will get through all of this and come out the other side a stronger person. If what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, then you are an amazingly strong person, in fact you are far stronger than most adults I know. Although I have never met you and I never will, I am proud of the person your mother created and you are such an inspiration to the people around you. I am sure you will go on to affect many, many people in a positive way throughout your life. It is that positive impact that will be the true celebration of your mom's life. You will continue to make her proud.
Thanks for your comments and encouragements. I don't mind if you comments or read, that's why I have this blog set to public. Feel free to comment anytime you like.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure my mom appreciates your compliments toward us, I do. :)
Dropping off some more ;-)
ReplyDelete